101 Things to do

(during Brother Gideon's Mass)

As you know, EVEYBODY went to mass in Medieval times, but not because they were religious , rather, they wanted to...


And they schalt
keep ther're
mouths shut
and listen intently
and not play dice


....and evere ynto the worldis of worldis....Amen.... (orisoun)... Lord IHESU crist goddes sonne of hevene set
thy passioune, thy cros and thy deeth betwixt thi jugement and oure soules
....(rattling of dice, squeals of delight, sudden silence..... CLONK!!!).... BROTHER DANIEL!.... 
now and in our of oure deeth and
vouch saf to gyve to lyving men merci and....blah blah blah....



otherwise they schalt
be smote
upon the pate
by the psalter boke!
Amen!



Milk Bessie the cow

Question the theory of transubstantiation

Ask to see the pictures

Try to beat Brother Daniel at Liar dice

Snore

Fart

Keep the host for the sick goat!

Play football in the graveyard

Clean some cauldrons

Blow out the candles

Wait for the celebrant to be hit by lightning

Make faces at the choir boys

Trip up the blind old nun

Ask to go to the toilet

Run away from the holy ghost

Ask what concupiscience is

Hum the wrong tunes

Stick pins in a straw dolly

Play this new fangled card game from Italy

Make a baby

Have a baby

Fall asleep

Say prayers

Quick, take it seriously, we're being photographed!


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